Friends, You Say

This is not written with anyone in mind I know or have ever known on blogger. This goes way back, to a people i knew in my youth only by way of twelve years of school, and a people that remember it far different than I do.






you say we are
were
and always have been.
I say,
how so?

when my heart bled
like fire
in the western sage
you gin rummied
to america's top twenty

when the moon fell
to earth
and i swallowed it whole
like strychnine
to silence my larynx
you were glad for the silence

I walked a blizzard to a frozen lake
to a child's knees i crashed
raising my arms to a silent God
while the bullets
blossomed my back.
did you see me? hear me?
as i lurched, and cried,
no more!
it is enough
were they your bullets?

you say we've known each other
forever
so says satan to God
and nation to nation
from well armed borders

yes, we've laughed
a time or two
you almost called me
-once

and my mother knew your father

perhaps even, they fucked
secretly in the pines
along the ditch bank

but if this makes us friends
and you my comfort
my understanding
has again fallen short

----------

Walls

walls
I fuckin hate em
we pretty em up
in pastel and
chains of daisy
-now you see it
-now you don't
but you feel it
walls
closing in

we call it security
a privacy claimed
a gap between space
but caskets have walls
-don't they?
you suppose it keeps
the dead from the
reach of hell?

fields of golden grain
have no walls
nor penny
on tomorrow's sleigh ride

but journals say
our hearts have walls
doomed for decay

walls
I hate fuckin em

A Moment

there was a desert
where all the sands of time
lay heavy in disinterest
I knew it's vastness
hell,
I lived it

the winds,
when they blew
were a bellow of hoarseness
from parch
and the noon sun
in laser sear
scorched my child's skin
into fissures
of remorse

I wore them
like a marshal's badge
but my bullets
shot only rust

the mischief moon
fell cold and heavy
shard like
on my weep laden sleep
while the scorpion
layed his mark
in mourning trails

and the thirst
that played percussion
knew only one beat
as an echo
in a house of mirrors

mercifully
as i trod these barren dunes
my tracks hid themselves
in sadden shame

but one day
in my journey
through this maze
of no relief
I felt a breeze
stir my heart
into tentative hope

it led to a door
that led to a shore
which opened to forests
and rivers and streams
beyond purple mountains
overlooking deep green seas

I laughed
as a drunken loon
and drank
til my heart floated free
and my bullets
fired life
as quicksilver

and love, too
grew neath pines
around this oasis
of crystal quench

but when again,
and much too soon,
the seas turned to sand
and my drink to dust
when once again, the noon sun
blistered my exposed heart to blacken ash
i turned like a top in a sadists maze
searching for a door I'd known
or even the door's cool breeze
but found nothing
save the barren yesterday

moments are like that
that's why they're called moments
that's why we keep trodding
because the door
is a mirage
only motion can find
and only once,
maybe twice

US

Just by chance, not by special privilege, was I born into this country. I am blessed. No other land I know of lives richer in the conventional sense and the opportunities are seemingly endless. But sometimes that
can go to a head.
There are many good people in this country with good love and good thoughts, but as a nation, as a whole, I also see problems.
Hard to believe anyone has travelled more miles thru it or met more people in it. And I'm troubled
I see an arrogance and and a hatred scribbled on bathroom walls. I hear the talk. In my work I must use a
CB radio which can be a helpful tool but one without footprints. totally anonymous. And it amazes me what
us church goin folks think and say when they know no one can see them. My heart is as flawed as the rest
and it causes me to glance inward and see my part in it all.
I truly wish what we scream from the pulpits we could amen in our hearts.
We all came from somewhere, most likely in the seed of the criminal mischief of a rascal grandfather.
I wish we were kinder, more open and a little more humble
and I mean WE. starting with me
anyway, just my thoughts


filthy mexicans!
Just bandits, grease balls and dirty thieves
Come up here, they do,
Steal our jobs
Fuck our women
Sheesh!
At least learn the the language
Or get the hell out

And muslims!
Nothin but murderous terrorists
They wanna kill us all
Ya know?
meeting in Mosques to build bombs
We should drive those
Camel jockeys
Back to the desert
Where they belong!

Not that a jew's any better

I've met a few decent negroes
But not many

And those spineless french!
Where would they be
Without us?
ungrateful bastards

If it wasn't for us
Kickin commie ass
And bustin the shit
Out of those crazy nazis
The whole world would
Be a big ball of shit

Injuns aint so bad
Got decent casinos
And keep to themselves

I hear it
In the talk
Read it
On subway walls
See it
In the eyes

Well, mr dockered friends,
One of these days
We're gonna stumble
Gonna fall Hard
And arrogance in one hip pocket
And the queen
In the other
Aint gonna float
Our boat

Best check the looking glass
-Those we trample
In our righteous wake
Are just a step behind
And they ain't lookin
None too friendly

Today I Am

I have been
A rabbit on the run
Hunched in shallow clover
Fearing the shadows
That hold my sand

I have been
The mouse
Hunting crumbs
In others cupboards
As my tail
Grazed their traps

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I have been
The mongrel
Bare-ribbed and homeless
A tail wagged in vain
To the catcher's disdain

But today
I am the eagle
Full, spread and high
Gliding thermals
Where only a gaze
Might find my freedom

Today
I am an eagle
Today
I fly among clouds